Speak aloud, it sets you free.

Boys are literally so stupid.

First there’s Cam;

Seriously one of the nicest boys I have ever met. I don’t like him in any other way than like a really good friend, but sometimes I don’t feel as if I can tell him everything because I don’t know if he wants to hear about it or whatever… but he always wants in and then suddenly stops texting me… literally like the DAY before my birthday. When I asked him if he was mad at me he said no… he has just been busy. Not to busy to tweet or like be all over social media but too busy to text me back… if I’m having a bad day I could always count on him. I guess thats over. It’s been like 4 days and I already can’t stand it.

Then there is this frat boy Hunter.

He is just super annoying like didn’t lay off me for like four days. He’s nice and everything but damn. Not gonna say I’m disappointed in that really. He’s just annoying. Cute, but…

Then there is Brian

I love him to death, and he’s so great and we are best friends…after we did the whole lets hookup with a stranger thing and then we became friends, then really good friends and then it escalated into since we are such good friends why don’t we start hooking up again, and I thought I liked him and then I didn’t and then a bunch of my friends were saying he liked me and I got so confused and BLEH. But I’m going to see him next weekend, but sometimes he doesn’t respond to my texts which isn’t really out of the ordinary but they are kinda important because Fathers day is next weekend and I know his family loves me and everything but I don’t want to intrude. So I need to have all my ducks in a row. 

THEN

There is Michaela;

Now I know what you are thinking, thats a girl, but its her stupid boyfriend that i can’t stand. She bails on me all the time and literally just couldn’t be there for me when I needed her and so I got fed up but hopefully when I see Brian she can come around, but I am not wholly counting on it.

In PT this week they asked me what I wanted to be able to do when I left. Seeing as I have been in physical therapy many times before, I decided to set a different goal than the normal goal. I usually post my goal for physical therapy ‘to feel better’ whatever that means. In light of recent evens, I have decided to run a marathon. Thats my goal. Not to win, but to finish, the Boston Marathon.

Well, this guy I hooked up with at the beginning of the semester, and continued to be friends with… but just friends and I hooked up again last night. I’m a little twisted so I like to play mind games a bit just to stir things up. After we were done he was saying things like I need to sort my head out and things like that. I can’t really be with him because he’s kind of a packaged deal. All of the boys I hang out with on that side of the floor are just amazing, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that. But if thats what he wants and doesn’t tell me about it and tells the guys that could fuck everything up too.

All I want is for something simple. It would be awesome to keep hooking up with him, because he actually respects boundaries and is a wonderful person. I have just never been the relationship type and I hate losing friends like this but it wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened. 

I definitely don’t think I like him.

But

I could.

School is super stressful now and all I can do is try my hardest to focus on that. I am trying my best to be a good person, but its hard.

I can only do so much in the few minutes I am alive each day.

All I wanted to do was come back to my room and relax for a bit while I fell asleep, well for once my roommate decided she did too so now I can do nothing. Like I’m sorry you have noone to layover this weekend but give me time to myself woman!

My roommate is totally fucking me over right now. All I ask her to do is text me when she’s gonna bring her guy back here so I don’t walk in on them and she never does. She also brings him around when I’m normally in bed. Like fuck you I’m a creature of habit and when I get stressed it gets even more of an OCD takeover and my life becomes hell. I can’t even begin to explain how ridiculous she is being after everything I’ve done for her you would think she would have the common fucking curtsey to let me know when some asshole I don’t like is in OUR room so I can stay out and not bug THEM. Like FUCK YOU I’m trying to do a good thing here.

This medicine is fucking with my system and no one cares. Seriously.

yanderegal:

shout out to people who have seen you naked but you can still have regular conversations with

(via psiloveyoumost)